Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
