I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
