He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it's like iHOP with fire
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
