time to smoke my breakfast
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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