Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
