I smell stomach acid.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
