Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
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