i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
