it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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