he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Actions speak louder than pants.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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