She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
