mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
