Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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