I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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