She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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