yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
