Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
