you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
