Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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