Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
