Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
