it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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