and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
