i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize