Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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