He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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