hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
