batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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