you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
