The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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