would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
