One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
