Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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