Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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