Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize