I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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