I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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