question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
