as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
