At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
