he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
