She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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