walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
