I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
