I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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