Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
