One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
