I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
