dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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