So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
