Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
