Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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