I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
