That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
