Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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