i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
