Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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