i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
