you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
