everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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