Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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