Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
