gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize