my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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